Unstable
by JustHereForTheKicks
Summary: MAX CRACK ALERT! Tamaki and Ed have switched places! No one knows why…but Alex Luis Armstrong will get to the bottom of this with the powers that have been PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS. Might eventually get serious.


**Dear Internet,**

**I'm sorry for making this. This is not meant to be serious in any way, shape, or form. Do not even try to take it seriously. If it does get serious (which it may just end up doing), I will tell you. But for now, it is seriously not serious at all. This is what happens when you're trying to outline an original story and your mind runs ahead of you. I still do not know why I am actually putting this on the internet. **

**So do not pass go, do not collect $ 200, all that stuff. **

**Also this is not edited so it is not my best work (I should hope!). **

**DISCLAMER (haha I said clam): I OWN NOTHING BUT MY OWN WORDS. **

Ed POV

Edward Elric was not happy. NOT. HAPPY. He was flying through the Gate at about a million miles an hour, and the whole "brain cramming" thing was happening AGAIN. Now, who knew what he was going to lose? The rest of his limbs? And who even knew where he was going, they probably didn't have automail anyway.

As he zoomed through the portal of Truth, he saw everything he had before.

_'Here we go again,'_ he thought. _'How did I get here anyways?'_

But the authoress decided that she was too lazy to make an explanation so she decided to forward the plot.

Wait, was that another swath of blond hair? The other boy had purple eyes, and a "woe is me" face.

_"_I'll see you again, my daughter! Someday…we can cultivate mushrooms together in closets!" Then the purple-eyed boy fainted in the portal of Truth.

_'That guy is waaaaaay too young to have a daughter,'_ Ed thought, a little perturbed.

Ed appeared at the end of his long rollercoaster ride through the Gate. Ed sighed and cracked his knuckles. _'What are you going to take from me next?'_

Truth appeared in front of Ed.

"Now, I'm feeling particularly nice today, and you haven't _tried_ to do human transmutation, so how about I let you choose your equivalent exchange? As long as I approve of it."

"I give up my sense of direction; men can't find their way around anyway. I give up my sense of humiliation, didn't need it anyways. While we're on the subject, I give up the power to feel pain that has been passed down the Elric line, FOR GENERATIONS," Ed smirked. "And a partridge in a pear tree! SO RAISE YOUR WRENCH, IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE WINRY IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS." **(AN: See, this is funny because Winry's voice actor's name is Caitlin ****_Glass._**** Haha. Pun totally intended. XD)**

Truth was so shocked and weirded out that he opened his eyes. And it was a really big stage for him, seeing as how he usually has none.

"OK, I approve. I'll let it slide because that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. And I'm reeeeaally old. Don't even ask how old, you'll embarrass me, you baka," Truth said, blushing. It regained composure and said, "You may pass."

The purple-eyed boy's voice rang in the distance. "You said the quote wrong, it's 'YOU MAY NOT PASS', you uncultured bum."

"Well, that'd be my cue. I have another customer on the other side of the Gate. Not to say that there aren't many many many sides of the Gate," Truth winked. "See you there…someday…" Truth closed his eyes once again.

_'Now, where am I?' _Ed thought.

"Hey, King! We got you twelve bags of commoner's coffee, fancy tuna, and commoner's ramen. We hope you're happy, we almost got run over by a couple of cars!" the Hitachiin twins announced. They burst into Music Room #3. "Now just look at this, and just try to pretend that it doesn't bring a smile to your face. I think that-King, why are you a chibi? Did you get contacts overnight? Are we having a cosplay themed day? I don't remember us talking about this. If we had known, we totally would've dressed as ourselves," Kaoru said.

Kyoya looked up from his work. "And this is what we call 'breaking the forth wall'."

"Seriously, what's up with the metal, Boss? Oh, wait…I know this…it's…hm…agh, I give up," Hikaru grumbled.

Honey-sempai walked, well, rode, into the club room on Mori's back, a piece of cake in his mouth. Flowers miraculously floated around his head.

"Oh, this is Jeopardy! I know this one! What is Edward Elric!" Honey yelled, swallowing the piece of cake.

"Mhm," Mori noncommittally grunted.

Edward Elric sat on the floor, question marks floating around his head. There's no really good way to describe the face he was making, so here's an emoticon: o.O. Then he snapped to his senses, inhaling the biggest breath he possibly could.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A CHIBI!? I'LL TAKE YOUR FACE AND FEED IT TO FANFICTION! MY IMMORTAL _AND _50 SHADES OF GREY! I'LL RIP OFF YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD, AND I SWEAR, IF NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON I WILL MURDER **_ALL OF YOU._**" Ed had no idea where all of these references were coming from. Must've been the cultivating mushrooms whose smell was seeping through the closets, or possibly the Gate of Truth. Nah, definitely the mushrooms.

"What are you trying to do to us, Boss? Oh, and by the way, your cosplay seems to have attracted more fangirls than usual. Like, a looooot more fangirls than usual. Even the girls from St. Lobelia are here. I think you changed their sexuality with your awesome automail. Seriously, where did you get that? It's so shinyyyyyyyyy," Hikaru whined.

Since no one would give him the answer he wanted, Ed decided to blow Music Room #3 up. For some reason, even though he blew up Music Room #3, only room number 1, 2, and 4 blew up.

"What is this made out of!? Orichalcum?" Ed asked, frustratingly trying to blow up the room again and again, and failing again and again.

"You know, Boss, I've wondered the same thing many times. We've done many destructive things to this room," Kaoru scrutinizingly looked up at the ceiling, trying to find a small crack to prove himself right.

While Kaoru was busy looking at the ceiling, Hikaru decided to finish his thought. "But it never breaks, even when we brought all that dynamite in here! Agh, it was sooooo frustrating!"

"I LOVE BLOWING UP THINGS!" Mori yelled.

Everyone but Ed was shocked at this outburst. Mori _never_ said anything.

Haruhi walked into Music Room #3. "Guys, I found this dog by the grocery store. Anyone want it?"

"Haruhi, you're such a slowpoke! I think we left you waaay-," Hikaru said, cut off by Roy Mus-, I mean, Travis Will-, I mean Mori.

"A dog, huh?"

Everyone looked at him expectantly.

"I LOVE DOGS!"

"Will, you take him in, Mori? And more importantly, will you not regret it when you're thinking clearly and not OOC?" Haruhi asked.

"OF COURSE I WILL! DOGS EMBODY LOYALTY, THEY FOLLOW THEIR MASTER'S COMMANDS ABOVE ALL ELSE! BE A JERK TO THEM AND THEY DON'T COMPLAIN, AND THEY NEVER ONCE BEG FOR A PAY CHECK! TRUST ME, HARUHI, THEY'RE THE GREAT SERVANTS OF MAN! LOYAL CANINE, HOW WE SALUTE THEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"O…K…," Haruhi said uneasily. "Here, take him," she said, running away hurriedly. She hated dogs.

"Mori, are you drunk?" Honey asked, the flowers around him refusing to spin any more.

Everyone gasped. The famous Haninozuka was about to show his killer moves.

"Nuh-uh," Mori said, walking out of the room with the mangy dog under him arm.

"Well, that was-," Hikaru said, getting cut off by the breaking of a window.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! IT'S EDWARD ELRIC!" A huge tsunami of fangirls squealed, burying all of the host club members plus Ed. Especially Ed, who was getting licked and my oh my, we must stop them! The narrator courageously stood up from her mushroom/emo/writing corner and rose to stop the fangirls. With one snap of her fingers, everyone blew up. It was like Mustang and Kimblee had a love child! Hahahaha…ewwww…

All they had managed to take was his shirt.

"Thanks for saving me. I usually don't get _that _big of a fangirl wave. I wonder what's different today?" Ed wondered.

"Well, Boss, I think it's because-," Hikaru said, getting cut off yet again by the narrator.

"No problem. I can't stand to see my pawns in pain," she smiled.

"Will everyone quit cutting me off!? I-"

And that's enough of you, Hikaru. Goodbye. Now we see where the fangirls have ended up…

Fangirl POV

The fangirls rabidly screamed within the Gate.

"I GOT HIS SHIIIIIIRRT!" one fangirl yelled.

Everyone tackled her, and before long, it had turned into a battle royal. No one survived.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Renge yelled, disappearing back into the world of the living after having her say.

Oh, and did I say they blew up? Well, they pseudo-blew-up. There. Problem solved.

OMAKE (or if there can even _be_ an omake in something so cracky)

"RAISE YOUR WINRY, IF YOU ARE WRENCH IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. Page number six, paragraph four, line sixty-three. You got it wrong, man. Do it over. Or we can leave it like that. And you can raise Winry all night long…," Truth said suggestively.

"What?" Ed asked. His sense of humility was gone, what do you expect?

**I accidentally typed that wrong the first time and…I just…I don't…never mind. **

**Review or something. **

**PEACE**

**-JHFTK**


End file.
